I hate to remember my life back in 2004. They were the worst days of my life, when I was in 11th and 12th Junior College. I completed my schooling in Kalyan, but then dad brought this new big house in Navi-Mumbai and we shifted to our new house as soon as my 10th Board exams got over. All over vacation, waiting for my 10th results to come out, I use to spend my time working in our new garden. Planting new flower plants, cleaning garden and playing with our new pup were my only time pass back then.
The result came out and I joined Junior college opting for Science stream. Before joining college, I was very nervous (the usual anxiety we all get when we are going to totally new place). This city was clearly new for me. My old school friends were in Kalyan and here I didn’t had any friend so far. I remember calling my best friend from school and wishing her luck for the first day in the college. On the contrary, she was excited and happy because she had our other school mates to go along with her.
To be frank, forget my first day but the rest of the year went boring. I failed to make new friends in this new place. I did try my best to start a conversation with new people, sharing my interest, laughing at their not-so-funny jokes, greeting them good morning and good byes, but that was it. I noticed even before joining college, they had their own group (a close group who clearly said no entry for newcomers). Out of curiosity, I asked few students that how they made such a great group.
They just use to smile and reply “Oh! This is our school group.”
And I knew the answer – I was an outsider. It irritated me to the core and somehow I started blaming this new house for my loneliness.
I started thinking “If dad had not brought this new house, we would have never left Kalyan (the city where I grew and the place where my friends are enjoying their college).”
By 12th, I accepted the fact that all the students around me would only say good morning and good byes, but they would never include me in their group, share their jokes, ask me for trips etc.
Somehow, I accepted my loneliness and started spending lot of time with my dog – Blacky. Ofcourse, she was the only one who didn’t had the so called GROUP and was available for me 24*7.
(Blacky is no more, she died on 28 April 2007 due to Throat Cancer. But this friend stays in my heart for lifetime).
The worst two years of my life ended with HSC(Higher Secondary Board) exams and I was again sitting at home waiting for results. Remembering those days, I only have two words –
1. Loneliness. 2. Depression.
1. Loneliness. 2. Depression.
The whole idea of college being a FunZone became myth for me and I somehow accepted the fact that the college life they show in movies and television serials is mere fiction.
I thought I was incapable of making friends back then.
So, my routine was to attend college, come home, study and sleep. Boring, right?
But then something good came out of it. As I got lot of free time for myself (with none of my friends calling me, meeting me), I grabbed a book and started reading it. I remember the first book which I read was Jurassic Park by Micheal Crichton. Slowly, I started developing interest in reading. The next book I read was Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte and this book was gifted to me by my school on occasion of farewell party. And it was kept in my drawer untouched until my HSC vacations. As the time passed by, I got a habit of reading a book daily and this is how I got my life saver and my best friend.
So, from this day I never felt a need of friend to be specific.
When I joined my degree college (BSC IT), surprisingly I made loads of friends just in one day. And within a month, I had my own group of friends, who are still with me now. Friends who use to call me, plan trips with me, pull my leg, laugh at me and cry with me. But in all this I never forgot my special friend – books. I still use to read books in my degree college and my friends never use to understand why I am so crazy about them. They still call me “book worm”.
So, in all this I know one thing for sure – you have friends or you don’t have, books and animals are always your life savers.
